Mistaken Identity

I mean, is this a photo of kitty cliché, or what?

Well, as I mentioned yesterday, in another post, kitties are the worst cliché around. They behave so much like kitties that you could never mistake a cat for, say, a rhinoceros, or a lizard or even a small rodent, although mama’s best friend from the ’60s, whenever that was, sent her a magazine on cats and on the cover was one ugly dude! I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to be me than when mama showed me that thing on the front, a sort of mixture of ET, a rat, and Eva Gabor (well, in the eyes only—I wish the rest had been like her). This cat could have been any one of a breed called donskoy, sphynx (they don’t look that enigmatic, they just look overwhelmed), Ukrainian lefkoys or (I love this one; imagine having to live with this name), a peterbald! These cats look as if someone took a really good electric razor to them and then plugged their tales into a socket. Or like Phyliss Diller without face lifts, if any of you out there remember her.

This one is trying to impersonate a TUXEDO!!!

Their eyes are always beady and round and staring; and they move around like snakes with very big ears, except for that one with no legs, less like a kitty than a little Shar Pei on rat feet. No way would I live in the same house with one of those, and I even heard mama say oh they are so cute, so cute, like elves (there is even an elf breed!) but as far as I’m concerned, elves can stay in the woods with the fairies and trolls and all those other weird creatures. In fact these kitties belong there, too, just anywhere but THIS house.

Now I’m feeling a little embarrassed because mama really does love those kitties and even met one once in Italy and it was loving and crawled all over her and looked at her with its little squinty eyes and she was a goner.

(I think I look more like this kitty than I’d imagined!)

So, okay, I’d have one in the house.  Just not smooching it up with mama.

And  just not squinting at ME.

I do the squinting around here, okay?