Well, last night mama and papa had a dinner party, which meant Chicken Parmesan for me (minus the sauce—I’m not allowed all that rich stuff now that I’m sleek as a Dachshund, but cuter, of course—and who has ever seen a Tuxedo wiener dog?), and these really nice people from upstairs came, and I heard mama asking one of them, “Do you like kitties (she actually said ‘cats’, because she was being elegant, but she meant the other word, which is much nicer), and the guest replied, right in my presence, “Actually, I’m allergic to cats.”
WELL. Mama explained how she used to have watery eyes and itch and itch when around kitties, but then when she got her first kitty, Fiat (that big tiger kitty who terrorized the neighbor’s female, Puss), found at the car dealership in Santa Barbara many years ago, that allergy just disappeared! I happen to be a very short-haired kitty without that stuff that people are so allergic to, pander, mander…something like that…ah, dander (which I thought was a really dressed up guy ready for a night out with a babe), and I am brushed daily and no hair comes out, so my illustrious darling presence does not appear to bother anyone, but I started thinking (always dangerous!)—what about kitties who are allergic to PEOPLE?
I can name some people that I would be allergic to instantly if they had been dropping their dander around me:
Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, our ex-president Bush, terrorists of any kind (read: bullies, chickenshits, lily-livered schmucks), people who hate kitties and always say, “Don’t let her come near me!” and others too numerous to mention, but actually, I get along with almost everyone who pets me and says, “Oh, what a cute kitty, just look at her playing with that fake green, yellow and polka-dotted [also smiling!] mouse—imagine what she’d do with a real one!”
So I’m glad that I have my allergies under control right now, especially since it is really beautiful here in Rome in spring with the sun making everything terra cotta and gold in the evening and when I look out of my window at the piazza, even those dumber than dumb seagulls catch my eye, swooping and pooping on all the parked cars.
You could be allergic to a seagull much more easily than to an adorable kitty, but no one ever talks about THAT.
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