See those little nibbles around the edge? That’s ALL I DID!!! No biggie…
OH, BOY AM I IN HOT WATER!!!
Mama was on the other computer, blithely clicking away at her article for The American Magazine, letting her creative thoughts run rampant, and this, just after having gotten out two little STEAKS for dinner since papa has not had meat at all during the vegetarian visit from kids and grandkids.
Gotten out steaks?
Hmmmm…
So she finishes her article and casually goes into the kitchen to start dinner and what does mama find on the FLOOR?
Well, it’s her fault that she weighed me this morning and I was 300 grams overweight and she cut my rations by 20 grams, starting today, and one simply cannot switch that quickly from 100 grams to 80 grams of dinner, and when I saw that steak up ON THE COUNTER WHERE I NEVER, NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS GO, well, something just took over.
I was innocently reclining in papa’s outdoor chair when mama came out with that steak (slightly gnawed upon) in her hand and put it in front of my nose and said, “LOULOU, no, no and you now what “no, no” means, you sneaky little kitty.”
Well, I looked at her for about a minute and she looked at me and we looked at one another and I just got up from my perch and sauntered off into the garden and wouldn’t let her cuddle me (I almost wrote “meat” for “me”–hmm, Freudian steak, I mean, slip) and I showed her who’s who around here.
But I am feeling a bit chagrined and ashamed of my well-behaved self and mama knows that so she stopped after the first two “no, no”s because I learn fast.
Now she’s looking out into the garden to see if I’m looking at her and I am and we’re about to make up.
MAMA, JUSTDON’T LEAVE A STEAK OUT LIKE THAT—YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER WHEN I’M ON A DIET!
I feel so bad…
PS: Next time Loulou – EAT ALL OF THE EVIDENCE!
Yours in criminality
Mungo
Hey, you have the right idea…I think mama’s thawing something now…Oh, pooh. It’s mango slices.
Nice work Loulou, I am impressed. Maybe next time, chomp up the whole steak so as not to leave evidence, or just whap it under a chair to save for later.
Does your Mama know that one kitty poop can weigh 200g? One kitty pee can weigh about 100g too, so if you hadn’t been to loo when you were weighed….. (you can claim cruel and unusual punishment, lawyer up now Loulou)
My vet/torturer says that a weigh in every two weeks is enough to get around this hefty old waste matter/actual cat weight issue and means you don’t get your foods cut for the wrong reason. Lets face it, any reason is wrong really, we need our grub
Steak (low carb) is very good to help cats maintain a nice svelte shape, not so good for humans though hehehehe
Luff
Mungo
Oh, Mungo, you have changed my life. Now I know that to eat more is best because then I’ll poop heavier poop and more of it and I’ll weigh less!!!! Wow, what logic!
Kidding aside, I was weighed before pooping so thank you for that. Mama is keeping an eye on….well….things, and then she’ll weigh me after that. What would I do without your wisdom?
You might have fooled your mom, Loulou, but we’re furries too and we know you’re very not sorry. What we can’t figure out is why you didn’t eat all the evidence and let your mom think she had misplaced the second steak?
Hey, next time it’s all or nothing!!! You are SO smart.