Posted by Loulou on May 12, 2013 | 0 comments

So you see here that I have rivers to cross and mountains to climb.

Mama thinks that if I exercise (by climbing mountains?) I will stay slim and svelt (I love that word!) and so she hides my dry stuff on top of this huge rock that lives (literally) in her office and then I’m supposed to figure out where my food is.

The truth is–I figured that out weeks ago but I pretend not to know it’s there so that I look good when I finally (hah!) find it.

A house kitty has to exercise at least 30 minutes a day with something or other like catnip-filled toys or balls or whatever, so what the heck, a mountain is as good as a mole hole, and frankly, I prefer to climb and leave rooting around in the dirt for those dumb JRs who run around like nutcakes trying to nose out moles when there really aren’t any in the holes anyway if they are smarty-pants moles, but those crazy doggies root, root, root and then run around in circles trying to convince their anthros that they have done some incredible deed and then they run around again and finally they get interested in something else and go off to do that.

Kitties are NOT like that. They have concentration that is matched only by those guys that move those things around on boards, like in Russia and in parks sometimes, you know those guys?

I saw a kitty once stalk a dumbass pigeon for half an hour! Just like those really incredible doggies who push sheep around. This kitty had “eye”, believe you me. And she did not move a hair until that pigeon’s back was turned and then you didn’t even see her really move but all of a sudden she was a few inches closer to that unsuspecting bird.

Fascinating, really, we kitties.

So I concentrate on where my food is (all fake, mind you, but I look really involved) and then I leap like a gazelle onto my mountain and scale its formidable heights and then,

I SUMMIT!!!! Just call me Reinkitty…Ms. Messner, to you.

Exhausting…I’m going to sleep.